Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
In America we eat man semen.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY