Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was