I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.