My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week