He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.