Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.