your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.