I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now