ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
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Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.