gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
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