my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wow word travels fast.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How drunk are you??
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone