i don't plan on having that self control this summer
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
How drunk are you??
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone