You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
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How drunk are you??
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone