soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.