is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
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I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
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I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.