Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
she woke up with a sticky ear
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wow word travels fast.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?