Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way