I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Dating After Heartbreak
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years