Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives