I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason