Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
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a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
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Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.