I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"