Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Oklahoma (918)

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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs

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  (918): I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs http://tfl.nu/3fta
  Replies (3) Good night (872) Bad night (694) Order T-Shirt
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  It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!

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  (918): It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore! http://tfl.nu/18ia
  Replies (2) Good night (1162) Bad night (354) Order T-Shirt
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  Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?

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  (918): Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball? http://tfl.nu/b2ii
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  Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?

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  (918): Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo? http://tfl.nu/ep0z
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  He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.

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  (918): He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his. http://tfl.nu/1fae
  Replies (32) Good night (2929) Bad night (680)
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  It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.

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  (918): It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before. http://tfl.nu/3ksy
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  She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.

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  (918): She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup. http://tfl.nu/rkhg
  Replies (8) Good night (701) Bad night (1407) Order T-Shirt
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  Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.

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  (918): Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business. http://tfl.nu/hekp
  Replies (7) Good night (519) Bad night (967) Order T-Shirt
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  I wish there were birth control emojis

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  (918): I wish there were birth control emojis http://tfl.nu/p00p
  Replies (16) Good night (434) Bad night (748) Order T-Shirt
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  I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.

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  Did it work?

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.

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  (918): I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over. (336): Did it work? (918): Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door. http://tfl.nu/swzf
  Replies (8) Good night (2875) Bad night (415)
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  Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.

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  (918): Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff. http://tfl.nu/mkr9
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  Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!

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  (918): Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter! http://tfl.nu/uf3h
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  Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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  (918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8
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  I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.

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  (918): I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud. http://tfl.nu/vndr
  Replies (11) Good night (1291) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
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  I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.

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  (918): I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever. http://tfl.nu/j10b
  Replies (13) Good night (603) Bad night (3571) Order T-Shirt