She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.