I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.