Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
god, I love you