So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
dude. I can hear the air.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
