everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low