everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.