everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Threesome in a minivan. New low