Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (760)

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  (760): View more from California

  I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.

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  (760): I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me. http://tfl.nu/uzp6
  Replies (19) Good night (518) Bad night (1878) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.

  (818): View more from California

  haha i love mojitos

  (760): View more from California

  ya and i hate cabbage

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  (760): I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage. (818): haha i love mojitos (760): ya and i hate cabbage http://tfl.nu/vdoy
  Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (1826)
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  I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?

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  (760): I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that? http://tfl.nu/6xle
  Replies (5) Good night (471) Bad night (1810)
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  (760): View more from California

  Man, ugly runs in her family

  (619): View more from California

  yeah, big time

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  (760): Man, ugly runs in her family (619): yeah, big time http://tfl.nu/1vgn
  Replies (5) Good night (348) Bad night (1507)
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  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
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  when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.

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  (760): when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice. http://tfl.nu/5xpe
  Replies (21) Good night (6888) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
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  Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.

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  (760): Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now. http://tfl.nu/d97x
  Replies (6) Good night (470) Bad night (1282)
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  (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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  (760): genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex http://tfl.nu/ckcw
  Replies (33) Good night (3208) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?

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  (760): Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!? http://tfl.nu/iolx
  Replies (39) Good night (10939) Bad night (1257) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo

  (619): View more from California

  Cremation, why do you ask?

  (760): View more from California

  I think we have a bit of a problem

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  (760): What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo (619): Cremation, why do you ask? (760): I think we have a bit of a problem http://tfl.nu/6d26
  Replies (15) Good night (645) Bad night (1227)
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  (760): View more from California

  Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty

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  (760): Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty http://tfl.nu/lyuj
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  i don't like sucking hair

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  (760): i don't like sucking hair http://tfl.nu/yq6x
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  I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore

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  (760): I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore http://tfl.nu/3q10
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  (760): View more from California

  i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege

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  (760): i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege http://tfl.nu/bkx2
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (1185) Order T-Shirt
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.

  (760): View more from California

  Wow.

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  (901): Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered. (760): Wow. http://tfl.nu/1wu1
  Replies (16) Good night (3922) Bad night (1181)