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Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
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