Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas