Texts From Last Night

Last Night in New York (718)

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...

  (718): View more from New York

  What do herpes have to do with anything?

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  (609): I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico... (718): What do herpes have to do with anything? http://tfl.nu/w2v0
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (1128)
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  (718): View more from New York

  She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.

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  (718): She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love. http://tfl.nu/h785
  Replies (9) Good night (1427) Bad night (572) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE

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  (718): ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE http://tfl.nu/zykk
  Replies (8) Good night (1981) Bad night (476) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.

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  (718): I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra. http://tfl.nu/riuo
  Replies (4) Good night (2067) Bad night (448) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.

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  (718): My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life. http://tfl.nu/zkml
  Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (1240) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?

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  (718): Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status? http://tfl.nu/oy76
  Replies (6) Good night (2169) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.

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  (718): According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago. http://tfl.nu/y0dx
  Replies (5) Good night (2396) Bad night (626) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.

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  (718): He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head. http://tfl.nu/789t
  Replies (12) Good night (2770) Bad night (871)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?

  (718): View more from New York

  Keg backpack and a Bike

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  (315): I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED? (718): Keg backpack and a Bike http://tfl.nu/7afi
  Replies (4) Good night (1666) Bad night (930)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by

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  (718): Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by http://tfl.nu/75m6
  Replies (8) Good night (2001) Bad night (458) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.

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  (718): Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet. http://tfl.nu/d2h1
  Replies (2) Good night (546) Bad night (2175)
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  (718): View more from New York

  knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.

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  (718): knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins. http://tfl.nu/4mi1
  Replies (5) Good night (1709) Bad night (824) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  The gym has a pool

  (914): View more from New York

  my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"

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  (718): The gym has a pool (914): my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high" http://tfl.nu/pnez
  Replies (4) Good night (3083) Bad night (787)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.

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  (718): you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke. http://tfl.nu/vku6
  Replies (13) Good night (2818) Bad night (1061) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.

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  (718): We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged. http://tfl.nu/etq6
  Replies (7) Good night (2745) Bad night (1310) Order T-Shirt