DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.