He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.