Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis