Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (707)

Last Night in California (707)

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I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.

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(707): I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her. http://tfl.nu/kq4i

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I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.

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That's the thing about women.

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(707): I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff. (951): That's the thing about women. http://tfl.nu/3r0z

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Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.

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(707): Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car. http://tfl.nu/kt4h

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We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.

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(707): We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE. http://tfl.nu/7oeu

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I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.

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(707): I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it. http://tfl.nu/citx

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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"

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(707): he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?" http://tfl.nu/pefr

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Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.

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(707): Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman. http://tfl.nu/78fa

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I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.

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(707): I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any. http://tfl.nu/bt78

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we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself

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dude you teach first grade wtf

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(925): we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself (707): dude you teach first grade wtf http://tfl.nu/gqyp

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the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.

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(707): the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him. http://tfl.nu/x6kf

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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.

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(707): She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her. http://tfl.nu/yn7x

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Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth

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(707): Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth http://tfl.nu/or2s

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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."

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(707): My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet." http://tfl.nu/s1m4

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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.

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(707): Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack. http://tfl.nu/ll0f

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he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

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(707): he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting http://tfl.nu/k7m6

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Last Night in California (707)

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