And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
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I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
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so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest