I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.