I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already