THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH