Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Virginia (703)

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  When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.

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  (703): When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond. http://tfl.nu/i1tf
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  The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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  (703): The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party. http://tfl.nu/q2r5
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  you seemed to enjoy falling down hill

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  wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint

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  (703): you seemed to enjoy falling down hill (540): wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint http://tfl.nu/kb4o
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  you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?

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  (703): you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat? http://tfl.nu/6p3h
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  You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."

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  (703): You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial." http://tfl.nu/ubhg
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  Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation

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  (703): Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation http://tfl.nu/67qo
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  if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless

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  (703): if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless http://tfl.nu/r1y7
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  I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.

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  (703): I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you. http://tfl.nu/0abv
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  You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".

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  (703): You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick". http://tfl.nu/ootc
  Replies (6) Good night (2007) Bad night (370)
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  Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume

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  (703): Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume http://tfl.nu/akez
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  You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.

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  (703): You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter. http://tfl.nu/b2tf
  Replies (4) Good night (2349) Bad night (600) Order T-Shirt
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  Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?

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  (703): Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday? http://tfl.nu/wnf1
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  Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is

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  (703): Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is http://tfl.nu/4n15
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  Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?

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  (703): Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch? http://tfl.nu/5l5a
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  I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.

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  (703): I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer. http://tfl.nu/bgxs
  Replies (8) Good night (2400) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt