Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed