I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.