I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it