i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.