WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(