So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.