They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess