Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.