Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Georgia (678)

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  Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?

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  (678): Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon? http://tfl.nu/v3dn
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  I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums

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  (678): I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums http://tfl.nu/28yn
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  Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before

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  (678): Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before http://tfl.nu/x76s
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  We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.

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  (678): We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward. http://tfl.nu/10ml
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  I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore

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  (678): I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore http://tfl.nu/ro2x
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  We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER

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  (678): We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER http://tfl.nu/fxy8
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  I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.

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  (678): I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back. http://tfl.nu/lb6m
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  thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?

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  (678): thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right? http://tfl.nu/2evi
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  Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.

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  (678): Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that. http://tfl.nu/i43f
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  Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs

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  (678): Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs http://tfl.nu/z2xs
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  My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.

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  (678): My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed. http://tfl.nu/n0s1
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  Someone shattered a urinal.

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  (678): Someone shattered a urinal. http://tfl.nu/a493
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  Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops

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  (678): Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops http://tfl.nu/ljhs
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  As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.

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  (678): As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off. http://tfl.nu/2oau
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  I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.

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  (678): I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though. http://tfl.nu/25nt
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