Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata