He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.