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Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
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