Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (612)

Last Night in Minnesota (612)

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I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.

(651): View more from Minnesota

It's like the Christmas morning of dicks

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(612): I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep. (651): It's like the Christmas morning of dicks http://tfl.nu/nghh

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She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?

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(612): She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy? http://tfl.nu/le82

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4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.

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(612): 4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break. http://tfl.nu/kp6i

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we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.

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(612): we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day. http://tfl.nu/zhdr

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Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.

(1-612): View more from Minnesota

Are you really alive right now?

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(612): Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath. (1-612): Are you really alive right now? http://tfl.nu/b3cy

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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.

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(612): She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did. http://tfl.nu/uugg

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Alls I remember is making out with that chick.

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Nope that was a dude

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(651): Alls I remember is making out with that chick. (612): Nope that was a dude http://tfl.nu/9vd8

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Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood

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(612): Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood http://tfl.nu/1at9

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I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles

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(612): I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles http://tfl.nu/axk7

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Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.

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(612): Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/wabc

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I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.

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(612): I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods. http://tfl.nu/4jr6

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I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.

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(612): I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo. http://tfl.nu/h4b8

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Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.

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(612): Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up. http://tfl.nu/k33q

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He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together

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A true beacon of hope in these dark times

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(612): He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together (1-612): A true beacon of hope in these dark times http://tfl.nu/8p83

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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course

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(612): It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course http://tfl.nu/673n

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Last Night in Minnesota (612)

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