I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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