I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it