I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
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That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.