im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before