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Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
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