We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories