You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
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The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party