This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"