She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...