It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you