College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.