thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
