ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Randomize
