i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Too much gin, very little bucket
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
