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It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
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