I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Drunk walkin through police station. America
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
19 Utterly Perfect Responses To ‘Send Nudes’ Texts
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.