let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
sick fucks of a feather flock together