I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
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A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
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I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?