his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we